I went to the funeral of a best friend the other day. As with many such memorials it was bittersweet – nice seeing a lot of old friends, and sad to say goodbye both a friend as well as a chapter in my life.
Two decades ago he was a new imimgrant to America and one of my other friends at work hired him. He was brilliant, and soon learnt all about American culture. He also had a good heart, and the three of us soon became fast friends. We loved nothing better than coding and discussing technology. Eventually together with another acquaitance formed a company. The best part about the company were the summer trips. To reward the families for putting up with our long hours we organized week long vacations for all of us and our somewhat extended families. Sometimes we went camping by a lake – one year we even all took a cruise together. These were great adventures. The families got to know each other, and we watched our children grow up together.
Then the .com boom came, and we went our separate ways, but still stayed in touch. But something wasn’t right for my friend. First he left his wife, then he moved to Asia and became a nomad – doing training, and going wherever the clients were. Vietnam, Australia, Illinois, it was all the same. He had no fixed address. I could only reach him through his work email. Once we met in Bangalore, going bar hopping – but needing a cab to go from hotel to hotel for lack of sidewalks. Last summer we had lunch again when he was back here. He seemed happy. Little did I know I would never see him again. Not too long thereafter he failed to show up for a conference. No one heard from him again. No one even knew which country he was in. Abrubtly a few weeks ago his son got a call from the US embassy in Manila – his dad’s body had been found in a hotel. Now they have a box of ashes, it looks the ones we have our dead pets in, and not even an autopsy report. Oddly, there’s no clear way of knowing if that box even has my friend in it. So it was a funny ending – he vanished and was found, or was he? Or is he playing some kind of joke on us, and simply wanted to vanish altogether? It’s all hard to say.
He was a great guy, but liked to keep his secrets, and had a bold nature not above unforeseen and extreme thoughts. As weird as it is to us, I bet he is smiling at all this.
What’s left are his kids, now a bunch of wonderful young adults, really nice people. He and his wife did good there!
